Fear and Blogging in an Audi

By T Lyne

hmmmm, weekend before the big european world tour for the DMT. I've got to make sure I get a new toothbrush, I always hate getting halfway 'round the world for a gig and finding there is no toothbrush in my kit bag. At those times, typically, we are being rushed around in cars and vans and the chances of getting someone to stop outside a chemist long enough to sort your ablution solutions is highly unlikely.

I recall a very poignant moment in the history of the DMT in Germany a couple years ago. We were being driven from somehwere to somewhere else in a big Audi limo on the autobahn. It was raining, we were tired, the auto was big and black and the driver might have just turned 16 yesterday, but assured us he was really a university student. And he was very excited to demonstrate just how fast he could go in this big car on the autobahn; because the huge widescreen display in the car made it impossible to escape the fact we were now travelling somewhere in the region of the speed of sound, the boy/child driver needed to turn around completely to look in the back seat and say with a wild sparkle in his eye 'I have never driven such a big powerful car'. . . . The silence from the trio was acute, little passed between us as we all got out the mobiles and began texting our last will and testament to our loved ones. With that complete we moved on to video games and chess, just to block out the incredible speed at which everything flashed by the window. We got there fairly quick and we're still here to talk about it. But I have never gone that fast in a car in my life.

This, of course, is in complete contradiction to the usual course of events, particularly, well, . . depending on who is at the wheel and who owns the car. Presently I am unwilling to name names and highlight various shortcomings and generosities. And it is inevitable that if or when I do, it will become entirely clear that, apart from me most of the time, none of us are, well, either perfect, or free from incident. And its not like I want to be critical, its more that I really enjoy the rediculous nature of the trip and the way it sets the mood and an undercurrent which is then brought with you onto the stage. We're all professionals here, but not at everything.

So, big world tour time next week. We've been rehearsing for months now and I feel bad that this has impacted negatively on Tom B's completion of his roof, though I may have got that slightly wrong. Anyways thats not the point. The point, and after all, there is always a point. And the point this week is, Its Dave's turn to drive; Wahey, which means Dave is driving and the rest of us can generally misbehave and tell stories about when we had newborn babies, and the excitement that can cause in a relationship, and about the condition one achieves when deprived of sleep for long periods, oh and adult conversation, and few other things like that. Or maybe not, thats the great thing, you just don't know where its gonna go. I think the days of just drinking the whole way are kind of behind us, I'd like to think they were. And Dave knows the way so its not like we're gonna get lost or anything like that (and I think he has a spare incase of a blowout - not that that happens everyday), and his seatbelts all work properly, particularly if you turn the car over upsidedown, which is never a good way to start a tour, though it has worked in the past as a way of upgrading your double bass, but best to keep that kind of private.

An Tobar on tuesday evening, which I am really looking forward to and then WEDNESDAY DEC 17th AT THE LOT IN EDINBURGH. My shouting is due to a serious infringement of jazz promoting which has taken place on our behalf and I know they are trying to promote jazz in scotland, but even their in-house advertising for our gig at the Lot is wrong. This gig is advertised everywhere as the 18th when it is the 17th(aaahh). There was a nice little blurb in the Scotsman yesterday and they had it wrong too(presumably because they got the information directly from Assembly Direct) and advertised the 18th. . .

I don't know how we can compete with all this promotion, good thing most of our friends are directly in touch with us or read the blog or visit the website (well not mine as its not been updated since early 2007).

Is it not difficult enough to attract an audience to a jazz gig, even a really good one like ours, which really deserves some professional promotion and care and attention??, I think it is fair to say we (the members of DMT) have all dedicated our lives to playing music, and working and practicing and studying and pushing the boundaries and writing new material and driving all over to f**k and back, and doing promotional spots and showcases, and pitching in when asked to serve the greater good of the scottish music scene, and doing crap paying gigs because otherwise there isn't a gig in town to play?????? And are these promoters not fully salaried professionals too, who have desks and salaries and telephones and calendars, possibly computers in this day and age? Its a date man! How come they get the salaries? Why do they get momney from the Arts council, is there a management council, or a promoter council where they could get their money. Then if there was some arts council money, it could get to the artists to make their lives a little less fucked up financially. Sheeesh.

At the end off the day there are so few organisations which help and promote jazz. This makes it very difficult. but also poignantly painful when you want to put something on, something you really care about and have worked very hard on, and really want people to see it, and know a lot of people want to come, and then the date is advertised wrong. Makes me really quite angry to think about it. How hard is it to get a date right? And its not like there are a lot of dates on this tour, as far as I know, apart from the previous night at An Tobar, this is only date the promoters have anything to do with! There are people phoning my house complaining because they want to come to the gig and the promotional material posted through their letterbox has the wrong date.

In the end we'll get on stage and do the gig and we will thank the promoters for their hard work and dedication, and the arts council for their support and making everything happen. But the people who really make this stuff happen are folks like Gordon at An Tobar, our families who put up with our irrational travel techniques and rehearsals in the sitting room at dinner time because there is nowhere else to play and no other time because we're all trying to pay bills and raise children and keep the car on the road, heck - possibly even upgrade an instrument here and there. It is the great internal links with friends and fans that make all this music work. In the event the economy fails and there is no petrol left, food scarce and the structure of this consumerist society breeched to destruction, we'll probably still be playing to gathering of folk out here in midlothian.There'll be food and warmth, some love and family, and everyone will be all right.

Just so you know, I do have respect and admiration for the promoters in this business and I know its a tough job. I take nothing away from that. When I am travelling and get to a remote gig and there is someone there to pick us up and take us to the hotel and make sure we get a meal and a soundcheck, I am eternally grateful. I have done a lot of 'busking'touring where there was nothing like that so I really, intimately know the difference. My diatribe is all about getting one number right.

. . . . Can you belive it, One date!!!! not nearly right - sheeeeesh

(Editor note) If you find any of the previous blog offfensive or feel there has been a degree of slander, . . . tough, its my blog.

And I am going now, it feels better getting that out, because I was starting tto get really wound up about it.

Peace and be kind to small animals - except maybe any mice that get into our house, in which case, the cat(Becky) will catch you and then the dog(Ella) will tear you to shreds and eat you.